I love my Birthday Month! I was born on the 10th of May and my Nanny Rose’s birthday is the 11th.
I was born near midnight on the tenth and we very nearly ended up sharing our birthdays but in truth we always have.
My nanny suffers with dementia and it’s been one of the most painful journeys watching her slowly disappear.
Her short term memory is gone but her long term memory is as sharp as ever.
I no longer remind her who has passed to spirit, if she calls me by her sister’s name I’m fine with that, what’s important to me is making her feel safe when she’s with me.
My nanny comes to stay with me one weekend every month to give my aunt some well needed respite. My other Aunties rally round as it’s soul destroying for the caregivers.
For me it’s been a precious gift.
My phone gets put away and I’m completely present with her. My animals sense something different about her energy and my feral tortoiseshell cuddles in beside her purring loudly.
My Black cat Gizmo perches above her by the window as if protecting her.
When I’m with her, Perspective finds me real quick.
Issues I would’ve been ruminating on are dismissed, as I realise how much I have to be grateful for.
In the morning as I’m
Helping her put her socks on, brings me back to her dressing me as a child. She had the softest touch and was so gentle. If ever there was a way to feel loved ,it was the gentleness in her touch when she tenderly pulled those long white socks on my little 6 year old legs!
I try to be as gentle with her.
At night she cups my face with her hands and says
“I’d be lost without you!”
And we always say we love each other. She’s 92 and I know I don’t have much longer with her. The time I have left with her is precious.
In truth I feel she’s the one helping me. Every month I arrive on my aunts doorstep my mind going 90! By the time I drop her home on the Sunday I’m completely grounded and focused. I’ve very little time for pettiness or gobshites anymore. You don’t like me, I’m not bothered! You do, I’m not bothered either. I care more about my own internal compass.
The people that I love.
I’ve become less concerned with the hamsters wheel!
I’m very blessed to be so busy and to do what I love, but if I was to die tomorrow what would I want said about me? That I
Was an amazing medium or the most accurate reader? Absolutely not! I would love to be known as a loving mum, a good sister and daughter.
I would definitely like my twisted sense of humour to get a mention if not my love of cats & a certain Husky!
Fear can make a lot of decisions in our lives if we let it. The fear of being judged. The fear of failure. The fear of missing out.
Until one day you wake up and realise nobody cares. There’s no
Giant finger going to point at you from the sky shaming you for your choices. You begin to realise the freedom you have to navigate life on your own terms. Sadly, this can also
Happen due to a break up of a relationship or family dynamic but that sense of freedom that comes with being able to be true to who you are is liberating.
Sometimes family can be the worst. When you finally awaken to your untapped potential, they could be the first to tell you to get back in your pre-conditioned box and to Stop getting notions about yourself. This is whereby I would get a good counsellor or therapist to really help you work on those active/ reactive triggers. The more you understand your conditioning, the more you can understand your family dynamic and ultimately yourself.
Your family are your teachers , as you are also teaching them. This could be leading by example or standing up for yourself. It can be in the care & love of an elderly parent or the watchful eye over a siblings divorce. We are all here to learn lessons. The more you can be true to yourself the more you can set healthy boundaries with those you love the most.
Our ancestors in spirit are watching over us and helping us learn & grow in this lifetime.
If you’re blessed to be surrounded by a loving and supportive family count your blessings and give gratitude for the love that surrounds you.
Give thanks for who
You are. List two things today you’re grateful for. List one person that you’re grateful for.
You deserve to be happy. Your happiness should not come with a cost. Friends and neighbours may come to your front door, but only you can decide who
To let in. Family run Around the back to pull the rug right out from under you! As only family can! The lessons keep coming and you better believe we will keep learning!
Have a great month!