Betrayal can sting like nothing else. It’s very hard to come back from having your heart broken to trusting again , without feeling some kind of wariness.
Sadly, we can project that on to the new people that enter our lives. They end up jumping through hoops because we are too afraid to let those walls down again. The cycle can be filled with regret of lost loves and chances not taken.
Healing is so important after any kind of breakup. If it’s family estrangement, seeking support in friendships , community etc
If it’s a job loss to get your confidence back , upskill and get back out there again. If it’s relationship you need to grieve the loss of that person and the dreams you had for that relationship.
Friends may tell you to get back out there immediately but I feel it’s very important that you have accountability for your mental health. You may have to give yourself the gift of closure that you never received. Start by acknowledging those red flags that niggled at you. Your body was trying to tell you something. Our body holds the knowledge. People who are not good for us can actually make us break out in a rash, have mystery illnesses or have a heavy energy.
When the dust settles after a relationship breakdown , you start to feel a lightness around you. You are no longer anticipating the needs of another , your mental load has been lifted.
Suddenly, you can apply for that promotion at work. You have the energy to spend on other projects. You have time to meet up with friends. People start to pass remarks on your appearance! Did you get your hair done? Did you lose weight?
It may be all or none of the above. What they are noticing is that your energy has changed. You are freed from the mental load you had been carrying for so long. A sign of a healthy relationship is partners being mindful of each other. There is give and take in every relationship. There is no such thing as perfect harmony, but there is compromise and being focused on the solution not the problem!
The body keeps the score! So how about you start listening to yours! Notice how your tummy feels around certain people. Your gut is closely connected to your intuition so trust it!
Have a great month
Fiona
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