Rejection is a part of life. 

Rejection is a part of life. 

 Whether it comes from that job you didn’t get, that relationship that failed you or when you pour your hopes and dreams into something only to have it turn to dust in your hands. 

It can take a long time to pick yourself up off the ground, dust yourself off and move on. 

Some become traumatized and adopt a victim mentality, never allowing themselves to let their guards down again. Others hide behind their comfort zones, cleverly disguised as being too busy or not interested in venturing beyond those impenetrable walls. The real truth of their matter is that they’ve stopped trying. 

Now, we all go through phases where we are done with the cruelty in the world. We happen to be living in particularly crazy times right now! Every day there’s a new crazy headline , another natural disaster. 

We lose ourselves behind our online personas and feel we are interacting with the world , as you liked your cousin’s post on Facebook yesterday…right? 

The pandemic did an absolute number on our collective self esteem and confidence. We have become conditioned to be distrustful of others and wary of new people or anything that’s ‘different’. 

Social media algorithms are destroying how we interact with the world and becoming increasingly divisive. Cancel culture is rife and one statement or opinion that is different from the asinine consensus can end your career overnight. 

Is it any wonder people are turning their backs on their own untapped potential. 

Did you know James Dyson created 

5,127 prototypes of the infamous Dyson? 

That’s some amount of rejection!

Anytime , someone creates something out of the ordinary the natural human response is suspicion, as the human brain is fear based. Its purpose is to keep us safe , so the animal brain flight or fight response can be triggered.

This is followed closely by curiosity, and when that overpowers the original instincts, can lead to discovery. 

There is always a certain amount of fear connected to trying anything new for the first time. Learning to love again after rejection is a daunting prospect. 

Staying in your comfort zone is a tempting choice. You will be safe and nothing will happen to you.

There lies the problem…

NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO YOU! 

The weeks turn to months and those months turn to years, before you realise it a decade or more has passed and you’re wondering how did life pass you by? 

What happened to the dreams you had? The cynic in you responds with ‘well people grow up, my dreams weren’t realistic’. 

How much effort did you put into creating the conditions that your dream could become a reality? 

Did you research thoroughly?

Did you Talk to other people that could help or inspire, hell…even ask for help? 

Everyone has heard about fear of failure but you can be just as afraid of succeeding! 

The Ego will catch you either end of the scale. It will make you feel shit or shit hot depending on where you are in life! Trying to find that balance is difficult, but it is possible.

Fear is part of being human. 

You can’t let it make decisions for you. If that monkey gets in the driving seat you are on a collision course for sure. 

I love the expression ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway!’

There’s bravery implied here. 

It’s easy to stay in the slow lane and there is indeed comfort in the comfort zones, but it should be viewed as transient & transitional. Such as recovery from an illness, bereavement, job loss, breakup etc. 

Staying in your comfort zone in the short term can have many benefits. 

Your body needs time to recover and your entire parasympathetic nervous system needs to reboot. 

Rest is important. 

Quitting is important if you’ve reached the end of your resources whether it’s emotional or financial(or both!). If you’ve decided to dream a new dream or change direction is all good as you are honouring your truth and following your heart. 

Please don’t lie to yourself and minimise your dreams or feign disinterest as deep down you know there will be growing pains attached to this next chapter. 

I’ve learned some of my most precious character defining moments when I was rejected , betrayed, shunned etc; whenever I feel low.

I’ve learned not to take rejection so personally as very oftentimes in life it says more about the person in front of you then your shortcomings.  I’ve learned to take it on the chin as massive tv opportunities grew tepid as I wasn’t the right fit for a particular director’s vision! You can bend yourself all out of shape until you become unrecognisable. 

Whenever I feel low and there’s a situation ahead of me that’s daunting there’s a marvellous poem I always read : 

Don’t Quit

“When things go wrong, 

as they sometimes will; 

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill; 

When the funds are low and the debts are high; 

And you want to smile but you have to sigh. 

When all is pressing you down a bit- 

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit Success is failure turned inside out; The silver tint on the clouds of doubt; 

And you can never tell how close you are; 

It may be near when it seems far.

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit – 

It’s when things go wrong that you must not quit.”

-JOHN GREENLEAF WHITTIER

It never fails to make me smile. 

You need to give yourself credit for how fair you’ve come. Don’t quit before you’ve even started. Integrate the pain and allow it to become wisdom that your body stores. By embracing the pain , moving through it and coming out the other side it can teach you some very powerful lessons. 

Yes, there’s some truly horrible people in the world but do not let them take out your beautiful light. 

It has always been there burning away.  Life can reduce it to nothing more than a glowing pile of embers but rest, kindness and inner strength can ignite those embers into a flame once more. 

Like a phoenix you will rise from the ashes and see rejection as it truly is, redirection into an explored aspect of self. It is only by embracing the shadow and moving through the pain , completely immersing ourselves in it ;can we expect to come out the other side. 

You will be completely changed, if you surrender like the Reed that bends in the storm. 

Your only adversary in this lifetime is between your two ears. People will always have opinions. Society will try and shame you and break you. Family have generations of trauma to heap upon your back, if you allow it. Those lacking in character or morals will try to manipulate , lie & steal from you. 

However , no matter what they try to do they cannot touch your unconquerable soul. It is eternal. 

So hold your head up and allow the breath to flow freely as you release those shoulders and allow your tummy to feel soft. 

Marvel at your journey and know that rejection is the spice that adds flavour to life, as it forces you to sit up and take notice of where you truly are right now. 

For when that door opens for you, you will truly know it is well deserved and you will step through it ready for the next chapter in your Book of life. 

Until next month mo chairde! 

Fiona

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