Kindness costs nothing.
Recently As I was pulling into a car park , a lady in her car on the way out handed me her ticket. It was valid for several hours!
I was so grateful as she had saved me the trouble. I usually pass on my parking ticket to strangers , but it’s very rare it happens to me!
I was instantly aware of how my energy shifted from how many chores needed to be completed to, ‘oh wow what a nice lady!
I hope she has a lovely day , there’s such lovely people in the world!’
I happily went about my business with a little spring in my step!
That’s the thing though, isn’t it?
It’s always the little acts of kindness , someone’s thoughtfulness that can shift the energy in the room. Have you seen someone’s eyes light up when you give a genuine compliment or when you roll up your sleeves and help for no reason.
Life can harden us.
If you’re unlucky enough to have draining family members or spouse you know the bitter taste of ungratefulness. You will have learned to set boundaries and be careful who you let your guard down around (if ever?).
Sadly, this state of mind leaves no room for letting other people in.
People mistake your gruffness as being dismissive or sharpness with rudeness. Truly , if you’ve never known kindness you may instantly be suspicious or even judgmental. You may view kindness as a form of weakness, that only the extremely naive or codependent perform. You may see it as a form of emotional manipulation due to your own toxic programming or prejudice.
The biggest enemy we face in life is the one between our two ears.
We hold the keys to our prison cell. It’s why when I was designing the attachment card from my oracle deck , I placed keys on the ground beside his shackles to symbolise this.
We are not our past.
We may have had horrible experiences and even done horrible things not knowing any better. But, here’s the thing, when we know better we do better.
I’ve met people with chips on their shoulder. I recently witnessed a spontaneous funeral eulogy whilst although hilarious was spiked with misogyny & bitterness.
Later , I reflected that you can travel the world and not be able to see past the point of your nose.
Daily we are bombarded with far left and far right views . Our social media feeds are cultivated by an algorithm whose sole job is to keep us on the app for as long as possible. How does it do this! It shows us things we like, based on our click history and duration spent watching.
Sadly , it does not provide facts , alternate viewpoints or challenging thought systems etc.
We must discern this for ourselves.
We have every right to hold different views and opinions as long as we can have respect for each other. We do not have to agree.
I’ve noticed so much more entitlement & aggression since the pandemic. This is reflected around the world.
However , when we can learn to listen and not judge.
Come from a place of non-reactivity (which takes years!).
I find someone else’s opinion of me is none of my business. I’ve long since learned to detach from a perceived projection of who I’m supposed to be. I didn’t fit into your box? I don’t care!
I will however treat you with respect and kindness but who I am is non negotiable. I know who I am.
I don’t need your validation to know I’m a good person and I certainly don’t have to ‘prove’ I’m a good person. Watch this one as it’s a trap we can all fall into. The need to be validated or seen.
Trust those vibes.
If you feel you’re falling into old self destructive patterns or it’s giving you the ick! Chances are there’s a healthy dose of guilt or shame disguised as obligation in there!
Lastly , reflect the kindness you give out to the world back to yourself. Practice affirmations, give gratitude for one positive thing each day, be patient with yourself.
I will leave you with one of the quotes from Desiderata , my creed in this incarnation;
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Have a great month!
Fiona
