OMFG it’s ADHD!
I received my Adhd diagnosis in early February. After two years of research, after primarily falling down a tik tok hole and resonating deeply with video after video! Some videos depicting hilarious comic sketches of the excitable / forgetful typical Adhd caricatures and others were spitting facts. Something in me stirred. This was beyond coincidence.
I started to watch more videos, moved on to books etc, which led me to sitting in a psychologists office on a cold February morning receiving my formal diagnosis.
I’m a generation X’er!
The most forgotten ,feral & last generation without technology ruling our lives! I’m from the school of fuck around and find out! There was no internet , no camera phones and no focus on well being or emotions.
Children from boomer parents are a completely different breed.
I only have one younger sibling and we were both raised completely differently! I was the quiet dutiful eldest child and she was the spirited youngest.
I learned to mask my feelings and needs early on.
As you can expect my adhd diagnosis was met with
‘There’s nothing wrong with you’
Or ‘you’ve so much going for you , why do you need to be looking into this?’ .
It has also been met with abject ignorance, statements such as
‘Everyone has adhd now!’
‘Sure we all have those traits’
Are you sure it’s not attention seeking disorder?’
Yes indeed forgetting where you put your car keys happens to the best of us at times , but for someone with adhd it can be a daily occurrence.
We all have times where our brains misfire. At one time or another we have walked into a room and forgotten the reason we went in for, forgotten names or what we were saying mid sentence, felt overwhelmed and did everything else except the thing you were meant to do, had issues with time keeping or deadlines, etc, etc.
The difference between a neurotypical person and an neurodivergent (myself!) is that these things are a daily occurrence. My brain does not manufacture enough dopamine.
We need dopamine for task reward, motivation and feel good factor. My brain chemistry is different.
I only respond to deadlines!
As there’s zero inclination or dopamine to do the task/ chore unless I’m under severe pressure or at risk of letting someone down , then it’s all
Hands on deck!
My creativity is through the roof!
I can pull all nighters with new ideas and ways of presenting things etc.
I’m very lucky to work in a career that every day is different.
However with the highs there’s the lows. I learned that my executive dysfunction is whereby I’m completely overwhelmed. I get stuck in freeze mode and nothing gets done.
There’s also rejection sensitivity dysphoria, whereby I’m highly sensitive and take things way too personally and absolutely hate the attention of focus on me in any way! You’ve no idea the amount of times I’ve self-sabotaged offers of Tv work etc , as the thoughts of reaching an even wider audience fills me with dread , however on the other hand I know how important it is to get the message out about mediumship and put Ireland on the map.
There’s a fantastic standard of mediums in this country and it deserves to be showcased.
If I could just stop running in the opposite direction!!!!
I love people , but then I get overwhelmed with too many people!!!
Since my diagnosis I’ve began to understand my self sabotaging behaviour and I also verbalise if I’m running low on dopamine or can feel a crash coming that will lead to my executive dysfunction being triggered.
I’ve also spent the last few months trying various kinds of adhd medication in order to find a balance.
It’s simply not for me.
The dopamine crashes were extreme and I ended up trying to offset one medication with another. As my doctor & I were trying to find the correct balance.
It took me to some very dark places with my mental health.
I’ve never suffered with my mental health before and I’ve been given a crash course into my own shadow side over the last several months.
Personally , I’ve had other adhd’ers tell me how meds have changed their lives for the better!
Sadly, Medication didn’t have this effect on me. I’ve never felt so lost, so hopeless and with those dopamine crashes….I began to feel detached and was starting to dissociate. The minute I began to realise I was going into a trauma response , I stopped taking the meds.
I’m now going to try the health supplements and holistic approach, which lets be honest suits me way more!
I received my adhd diagnosis from The Adhd doc.
Here’s the link and the gorgeous soul that is Dr. Sarah Carty made me feel seen & listened to for the first time in my life.
I’ve also discovered Adhd ireland
They are an amazing network of people , that post adhd related events and have a veritable mine of information on their site.
I’m currently attending a six week course online in understanding & managing adult adhd with them and it’s completely free!
I post most of my adhd related content on tik tok so feel free to follow me over there! As I don’t like to duplicate posts etc!
My adhd is part of me. I embrace the unique qualities that without has helped me be the empathetic psychic medium I am today. I feel so much. Every day. My entire life.
I can tell you the plot of a film five minutes in..
I can identify a song in 2-3 seconds!
I can immediately tell
You what crystal would suit you and for what you need it for.
I’ve an uncanny ability to recognise patterns in people’s lives, which heightens my ability to understand these patterns in my cards , therefore ascertaining the best way of approaching a situation my client is facing!
I can sense spirit.
If I encounter a pushy , standoffish client or someone who has heaped tons of expectation on me as if I’m the oracle of Delphi….My rejection sensitivity dysphoria shuts me down quicker than a greyhound after a hare!
I can feel the cynicism flowing from a person.
I can also feel the relief.
I know how it feels not to be seen. I’ve masked my entire life. I was told to tone it down , stop being so enthusiastic, that my boundless positivity was annoying. I’m fiercely protective of my clients and am so grateful to have built relationships with so many of them as their spiritual advisor. I’ve seen them through relationships , breakups, Marriages, divorces , births , deaths and the entire spectrum of human experience.
I have my adhd to thank for it.
It’s kept me sharp & sensitive!
The deeper we drop into our real selves , is akin to peeling the layers of an onion! Just when we think we are getting somewhere, we realise it’s simply another layer to be peeled back!
I’m going to keep peeling until I get to go home! Then I will find my spirit guide and give them the biggest kick up the backside for ever agreeing to let me incarnate on this planet in the first place!!!
Have a great month!