I was chatting to another reader the other day. We were discussing how the spiritual path is not for everyone . The various pitfalls and the loss of friendships.
I’ve lost many friends over the years. I know now that was partly to being walking around as a spicy undiagnosed inattentive ADHD female in the world.
When I got my diagnosis at 45, so much made sense. The deep hurt and betrayal I had felt by former friends was intensified by rejection sensitive dysphoria which heightened my pain further.
I own this.
If I knew what I know now I would’ve acted differently. When you know better, you do better!
However , this doesn’t detract from the fact that I’ve met my share of self centered assholes either!
My industry is probably one of the most cutthroat that exists. In ireland it’s unregulated, which means any Angel Annie, Madame Mina or Fortune teller Tina (*disclaimer to any readers of that name!) can set up as a genuine reader and not have any regulatory bodies to answer to, bar the existing consuming rights organisations and laws that protect us.
It is the equivalent of paddling in shark infested waters , and you know the sharks by name, everyone knows who they are and you paddle your own canoe and mind your own business!
As I came up through the psychic fair circuit it was a baptism of fire.
I’ve seen readers have stand up rows over table allocation! Aggressive shouting matches as they undercut each other’s prices. I’ve had readers approach clients in my queue offering to read for them cheaper & quicker etc.
Being told my energy was off or unsolicited readings from readers that were basically using their abilities to be total bitches!
The sad thing is the spiritual path can be very lonely and in the early days of doing psychic fairs it was like going to Hogwarts. I had come home! I had finally found my people. I had found my place in the world.
The first year was amazing.
I made so many friendships .
I gained invaluable experience as a working reader. I enhanced my reading skills and abilities. I grew my crystal & book collection thanks to all the amazing vendors I connected with on the circuit.
Most importantly I was happy.
I was doing a job I loved and I felt the only way was up. I had secured a place on an advanced mediumship course in England and I was no longer afraid of my abilities as a medium, scratch that! I was terrified! However , I was no longer scared of finding out who I was and what ability I had.
As my training began, I was flying out one weekend a month , I started to notice a shift in fellow colleagues & close friends energy.
It was subtle at first , texts not being responded to, being excluded from dinner plans, not being asked how I was getting on abroad etc.
I had a bestie who I adored. From the first day I started doing fairs we bonded over our love of crystals and anything that sparkled.
Our tables would always be next to each other at shows.
One day I noticed My table had been moved to a far corner away from her. I queried it and was told the organiser was trying a new layout etc, other readers were complaining etc .
Something felt off. I had this horrible feeling in the pit of my tummy.
When we met for coffee during the week , she dismissed it as down to the organiser etc.
I had been contacted by a tv producer that wanted me to feature in a documentary for irish television that would be broadcast in Irish.
All my education has been through the irish language and I’m a very proud irish speaker. I immediately agreed as everything felt right around it. I knew Spirit was giving me the green light.
I excitedly told her my news and she dismissed it as a set up. She told me there were going to make a holy show of me and make a fool out of me.
I was so confused.
I asked her was this her guides showing her this or her opinion?
She doubled down and said her guides. I looked her directly in the eyes and disagreed. I was going to do it as I felt strongly about it.
The programme was a fantastic success.
I begin to realise she was jealous.
Things took a nastier turn and the friendship imploded.
I’ve had many friendships end over my life , but this was always the one that broke my heart as I adored her.
She passed several years ago and we made our peace before she passed. She gives me signs from time to time and I will carry her with love in my heart forever.
Here’s the thing.
Hurt people , hurt people.
When you carry trauma around with you as most people who come to the spiritual pathway do so usually because of a massive life event. It could be illness , bereavement, divorce etc. we have this moment of awakening.
We might be afraid of therapy because of inherited shame or fear.
So we look at various complimentary therapies etc.
We may love it so much that we study it ourselves. The more we deny our shadow and not process individual pain we will end up bleeding all over those that didn’t cut us to begin with.
Psychics , mediums and healers are at the coalface of human experience. All psychologists, therapists and counselors have regular self therapy or supervision whereby they can discuss anything that has come up for them in their sessions.
I truly believe there are a lot of new age mystics , healers , shamans , psychics , fortune tellers walking around projectile vomiting their unresolved trauma on to their unsuspecting clients.
I started therapy over ten years ago and in case you haven’t guessed it, I’m a massive advocate for taking responsibility and owning your shit!
Don’t get me started on spiritual bypassing! Just smile & be positive!
Go and shite!
Which leads me back to the conversation with my fellow reader about friendship breakups. Sometimes you can pinpoint it to a moment , sometimes it comes out of the blue. You are ghosted , blocked , deleted from a person’s life so instantly it makes your head spin.
When you knew their family members and had walked alongside them for major family events it can be incredibly upsetting.
If the onus is on you , try to apologise and own it. It may not save the friendship but it will help your personal growth. Going into victim mode serves no purpose for anything. It will keep you stuck in that dark place and poison your trust toward any new friendships. Bitterness & cynicism are hard pills to swallow and do not make good bedfellows.
If you have been badly treated.
Look at your boundaries, surround yourself with good people and good food. Connect with a therapist if it will help you process.
Move on.
As Shakespeare said ‘to err is to be human’.
We will all make mistakes in our lives , but it’s how we learn from them defines our character and how we view the world from our particular perspective.
Some of us will never get the apology or closure we deserve. Know you opened your heart to love, be grateful for the good times and use the bad times as a teachable moment.
You are worthy of a good friend and deserve nothing less!
Have a great Month!
Fiona
X
