Jealousy is a disease.

It infects your truth & spreads to all areas of your life if you allow it.

Confused clients sit across from me, trying to comprehend a betrayal from a loved one.

Trying to find the source of another’s ill will toward you, can be futile. For when someone is jealous of you, it’s the last thing they will voluntarily own up to. You’re more likely to be blamed/shamed in some way. They will project their insecurity onto you, it’s your choice if you choose to take it on board.

Revenge is the first port of call.

I want to hurt them as much as they’ve hurt me. So we rally the troops & start a hate campaign of our own. We do this, as we feel/perceive our character has been attacked & our defending the moral high ground, but who are we really hurting?

One of my favourite quotes is:

Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.


For when we become consumed with righteousness, our need for some form of victory over our assailant is required.

Have you any idea how much energy is needed to keep the fires of vitreol burning inside you?

We lose sight of what matters, friends that originally side with you start to voice concern over the change in your behaviour.

You start to lose your compassion, adopting a “hurt them before they hurt me”, mentality.

We become blinded to what virtue there is in life & what good remains to be seen.

Therapy really does help, it breaks vicious patterns, helping us unlock our sanity.

Getting out, walking, running grounding your energy.

If you want a cause, find one.

Work on yourself, join a group , workshops, charity etc.

Do not let yourself stagnate in a pond of poison. For you become no better than your adversary.

Know for whatever reason they saw a light in you they wanted to extinguish , don’t give them that power.

On the surface, it may look like they’ve won & are riding off into the sunset with your husband/wife, job, child etc.

The laws of Karma are alive & active in the universe. Do not wish ill will onto them for their malicious intent on you has already sealed their fate.

Truth always finds a way.

You don’t have to force it. Don’t allow gossips weaken your stride. Know in your heart , you are a good person. Bad shit can happen to wonderful, kind honest souls but do not let another’s darkness quench your light.

Do not retreat into victimhood.

Rest, regroup, restore your energy & bruised heart.

You were born to shine.

This painful, physical heartbreak will come to an end & like the Phoenix you shall rise again.

Do not forget your gentleness, your compassion. For your adversary deserves your pity. They are on a one-way self destructing mission, that is off their making. You however are the owner of a beautiful loving soul. It’s the most rarest, treasure. You must love it & use this lesson to set healthy boundaries in your life.

This time is only a foot note in your life, a moment you will look back from years from now with the pearl of wisdom gleaned from the experience, tucked safely away inside your soul.

Do not waste your energy on mourning broken dreams.

Do not dwell in the past.

It’s time to move on from despair, dream a new dream, take comfort in loyal friends.

Your future awaits…..

©Fiona Ní Mhuirri

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